kittencrush (kittencrush) wrote in dsafgrrl,

  • Mood:


I just joined this community because it seemed to fit me perfectly. I've been having some issues lately that I would really like to get off of my chest. If you have any comments, I welcome all opinions.

Let me begin by saying that I don't remember a lot of what happened with my father. He is still married to my mother and they are still in my life. (To a point.) I try to distance myself as much as possible from him. All I remember is that he always made very inappropriate jokes and comments about my body. There was a lot of borderline behavior. (Back / foot rubs and conversation that was just too intimate.) I realized all of this when I was admitted into a mental hospital in early 2006. We were discussing the different forms of abuse in a group therapy session. When they started talking about "covert sexual abuse" I began to shake. This is what happened to me. I think I have blocked out even more memories because my subconscious is desperately trying to make me remember.

All of the dreams are the same. I am surrounded by my family. They are very interested in each other but I am an afterthought. The only one who has any desire to pay attention to me is my father. The others don't care that I am obviously uncomfortable with this. It keeps him out of their hair. (Oddly enough, this has happened quite a bit in recent years at family get-togethers.) He always starts acting worse. Soon I am struggling against him making a blatant sexual move towards me. I scream for someone to put a stop to this and I'm ignored. Every time. I cry, scream and berate my father for being so horrible.

I always wake up with a yell.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment